Published in the December 19, 2019 edition.

By MARK SARDELLA

MARK SARDELLA

For a limited time only, while supplies last and just in time for your holiday gift-giving, it’s the year’s bestselling book in the “Wakefield” genre: The Town of Wakefield 2019 Annual Street List.

It’s the perfect gift for that hard-to-buy-for Wakefield resident on your list.

The Street List takes you on a rollicking ride through the highways and byways, the streets and lanes, the roads and avenues of the town you know and love.

From the opening scene on Aborn Avenue to the thrilling climax on York Terrace, the readers on your holiday list will be treated to a gripping read that will take them from the highs of Prospect Street to the lows of Valley Street, with more twists and turns than Montrose Avenue.

A handsome coffee table book, this sleek volume offers a diverse and inclusive look at Wakefield and its citizenry. It has something for everyone – specifically, their names – provided they filled out the census. The lack of character development can be forgiven considering that the sprawling epic features a cast of 24,280.

The Street List is an exhaustively comprehensive compilation – a timely tome that is at once ambitious and accessible.

But the 227-page volume is not merely “A list of persons, male and female, residing in Wakefield, Massachusetts, 17 years of age and over, as canvassed by the Board of Registrars as of January 2019.”

It’s that, sure. But it’s so much more! Each of those “persons, male and female” (that’s practically everyone) is able to list his occupation, and most do. It’s one of the reasons the Street List used to be known as “the nosey book.” It also used to list ages. At one time, you could find out a lot about someone from the Street List. Now you have to use Google.

Still, as you can well imagine, there are some interesting occupations listed. There are familiar ones like butcher, baker and (scented) candlestick maker. There are engineers, lawyers, teachers, salesmen, architects, accountants, electricians, plumbers and dog-walkers.

Several women (if I may be so bold as to assume based on their names) proudly list their occupation as MOM. Others are not afraid to identify as HOUSEWIFE or HOMEMAKER. (Has NOW been notified?)

Other listed occupations are rather curious. There are quite a few individuals who list their occupation as CHILD. (Perhaps the MOMs are looking for them?)

Some of the listed occupations offer a touch of humor – some of it probably intentional, most of it probably not.

There’s the woman who lists her occupation as “HUMAN RESOURCE. (We’ll be the judge of that.)

Another individual lists her occupation as “NOT THERE.”

The abbreviations chosen by the resident or the editor (it’s not clear which) provide some of the best unintentional humor. We know that IT stands for “Information Technology,” but because everything in the Street List is in uppercase letters, we can imagine that they meant they are “It.” (Yes, we are easily amused.)

Some of the abbreviations seem ill conceived. For example, did the business analyst really have to be listed as BUS ANAL?

We’ll close on that note.

The 2019 Street List is available at the Town Clerk’s office for the bargain price of $20. All kidding aside, the cover photo of a double rainbow over Crystal Lake by local artist and photographer Joyce Wood is alone worth the price.

For all of those reasons and more, the Street List is the gift that keeps on giving. Plus, if you buy one, it will make the Town Clerk very happy.