Published April 24, 2020

By ANDREW SCHUYLER

MELROSE — The inevitable question usually arrives around breakfast. Sure, there are times it doesn’t present itself until after the dishes have been cleared and teeth brushed, but arrive it does.

“What are we going to do today, Dad?”

During summer vacation it’s a staple question that I anticipate and, with some success, either deflect or answer happily when a plan has actually hatched. Camp weeks, which enlightened stay-at-home parents giddily admit to be their mini staycation, are easy because the kids know the drill, so they let the old man off the hook and typically just ask when we will be leaving and if I remembered to pack a (nut-free) lunch.

However on days when we don’t have anything specific planned, I’ve found that, much like throwing spaghetti against the wall, something I suggest will generally stick. After all, they’re six and nine years old, so I still have a modicum of cachet.

“How about we go to the YMCA pool?” Or, “I think the batting cages are open today.” Or, “I can call so-and-so for a playdate, maybe at their house” (so I can take a nap today). You get the drift.

But not now. Not in the age of Coronavirus. From police-taped playgrounds to astounded parents who simply can’t believe you would even think of suggesting an outdoor playdate, it’s a challenge to keep the troops occupied. Also, our city and state are closed.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. COVID-19 is a fast-spreading, deadly disease and I support the efforts to contain it. I’m just saying that it’s proving to be a test to me and, well, all the hard-working moms and dads who have joined the ranks as temporary stay-at-home parents.

Perhaps now would be an opportune time for us permanent stay-at-home parents across America to collectively shout out “Welcome to our world!” Not, of course, that society (or our spouses) generally listen to us.

But maybe now they will, since they are witnessing up close and personal our anguish in trying to squeeze blood from a stone. And while I might be crazy, I suspect that the minute many of those parents who work away-from-home are able to go back to their offices they will be fighting tooth and nail to get the first seat on the T.

And yet the question remains in this uncharted world, What are we going to do today? I could say hiking, walking the dog, playing tennis, or poaching a closed baseball diamond to practice for a Little League season that has virtually no chance of happening, but you’ve probably done all of those. So, no, unfortunately I am not your resource on what to do with your kids.

Sure, the teachers are sending home ideas and assignments which certainly help. And daily reading with the kids continues to be a cherished pleasure for our family. But seriously, seven weeks, and all without libraries, parks, friends, museums, and restaurants? Well, call me double crazy, but when this finally ends I think all of us stay-at-home types will be fighting for a seat at the corner pub.

So tomorrow morning when I’m mixing up smoothies and the question is raised, maybe I’ll punt, and half-heartedly say “Go ask your Mom.”

Andrew Schuyler enjoys living, writing and parenting in Melrose.